Between Heroes
by Green Hat
Summary: Sonic bounces, Tails forgets… After the ARK incident the one left grieving may be the last anyone would expect.


Disclaimer: I own little of any importance

**Between Heroes**

Sirens were blaring. He staggered off the shuttle, flanked by an overprotective Sonic and Rouge. He was in shock. The humans in their stinking vehicles were approaching them. His old hatred of humanity bubbled back; sadly he wondered what they had saved, what Shadow had died to save. He didn't seem to care anymore, he was numb, as though cut off from himself. The humans could come, do as they wished, he just didn't care anymore.

Knuckles stood in the hot sun on the baking tarmac of the runway, the shuttle looming above them-tinkling as it cooled. His fur was damp from the strange yellow water that had filled the ARK, he was also distinctly aware that he was covered in his own blood, and stank of sweat. He felt dirty, deeply vulnerable, and weak. He looked up. Occasionally bright streaks crossed the azure sky, some of the pieces of the Space Colony or even of the Biolizard… falling from grace. He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw.

The humans surrounded them, climbing cautiously out of their vehicles, some of them carried guns. Quickly a circle formed around their pitiful group. Eggman looked nervous, Sonic proud, Tails uncertain and Rouge stood by with an air of casual indifference. Knuckles was sure _he_ looked pathetic, toying with the bracelet round his right wrist, aching. A human in a suit addressed them.

"On behalf of the people of Earth we would like to thank you for saving us"

Instead of feeling proud Knuckles just felt a stab of guilt and grief.

"Our special thanks to you Sonic" The man bent from the middle slightly to shake Sonic's hand. All around them flashes erupted, Knuckles lifted his arm to shield his eyes and aching head. Sonic said something suitably noble, but Knuckles wasn't paying attention, simply trying to make himself look as insubstantial as possible.

"Could you tell us… where is the creature you knew as Shadow?"

Knuckles' grief stabbed him harder still. He looked up at the human who had spoken, he carried a gun at his hip, held handcuffs and what looked like a large key ring shaped as a metal rod in his hands. Immediately Knuckles hated him.

"He's dead." Sonic said simply, casually. For a moment Knuckles hated Sonic too. Maybe only Tails at his side noticed his hands clench into fists.

"Oh…" The man looked disappointed, or perhaps surprised…

"Could you tell us how he… died?"

"When I used the Chaos Control to put the ARK back into orbit and get back aboard I returned… Shadow didn't" Sonic said bluntly

Again Knuckles was angry. Chaos Control was Shadow's ability, he doubted Sonic would be better at using it than him.

"Well…" Another human said "You are all free to go… With the exception of Doctor Eggman. The rest of you will be escorted off this base. Doctor if you would come quietly."

"I don't think so"

Eggman looked up. At that moment a small craft swept down, before anyone could stop him Eggman jumped aboard and was carried away. On another day Knuckles might have tried to stop him-he didn't bother.

The three of them stood beside the chain link fence of the base. Rouge had disappeared somewhere between the shuttle and here.

"Well that was fun" Sonic said cheerfully.

Fun was the last thing Knuckles would have called it but he was too numb to argue.

"You going home Tails?"

Tails nodded. "What about you Knux? Are you going back to Angel Island?"

"Or are you gunna find Rouge?" Sonic asked playfully

"Angel Island" he answered bluntly not looking at him.

"You want a lift Knux… I can take you in the Tornado if you like"

"No"

"Are you sure you're going to be ok?"

"Yes"

"Yeah Knuckles… what was that up there, you scared the hell out of us getting sick like that! I thought you were gunna go and die on me!" Sonic said.

"I dunno… maybe I just needed to be on firm grou…" he trailed of painfully.

"You want me to stick around with ya, on your way back to Angel Island or summin?"

"No"

All he really wanted was to be alone.

"Alright then, Mr Anti-social, come on Tails lets go find somewhere for you to meet the Tornado"

Sonic started off. Tails went to follow but paused.

"You sure you'll be ok Knuckles… It's just… I've never seen you cry before"

Knuckles looked Tails in the eye. "Just go with Sonic." Tails went to move off "Hey Tails, look after yourself ok?"

Tails sighed, nodded and followed Sonic into the trees around the base. For a moment Knuckles watched them go, before turning, and running in the opposite direction.

His grief was foolish. As soon as he entered trees that were thick enough to hide him he stopped. He crumbled. His legs didn't want to support him anymore. He had no strength, no courage, and no hope. He lay in the leaf litter, shaking slightly, fighting with himself. He felt his pain was stupid. He'd barely known Shadow… So why did he feel like this… why did it feel like _his _world had fallen apart? After a long moment he gave up fighting, and sobbed into the earth.

He ran his finger over the engraving on the inside of the bracelet for what felt like the thousandth time. He feared perhaps he would rub it away before he found the courage to ask someone to read it for him. He hated himself at the thought. Perhaps if he wasn't so stupid he'd have been able to do more… he'd have known what to do for the best. Perhaps he should have called his Hyper-Form and followed Shadow and Sonic to fight the Biolizard. There had even been enough Emeralds for him to _induce_ his Hyper-Form, but then he'd always been taught that was an accident waiting to happen. He cursed himself; he shouldn't have just stood idly by to watch Shadow destroy himself. He should have known his true intentions, should have seen it, shouldn't have looked away and pretended not to notice, telling himself it wasn't his problem. When you're a Guardian _every_ problem is yours. He ground his hands into one another, chewed hard on his lip, tasting the metallic tinge of his own blood. He should have known better. He should have done… _something_.

What had they saved? What kind of world…? One that would create something unique and not mourn its passing… What kind of world did he live in if he and Tails were the only ones to truly grieve for Shadow? Maybe Shadow had done great wrongs, wrongs he couldn't even comprehend, but he believed no-one deserved to go into the afterlife, whatever awaited them, believing they were all alone and unwanted in the world, thinking they had nothing and no-one to live for. When he'd looked Shadow in the eye, even though it had only been for a moment, he'd not seen the monster that everyone else seemed to. He'd seen fear, remorse, perhaps even grief… but… no hope. His eyes had been pleading, almost desperate, asking perhaps that he could live on in memory, even if only in those of the few as something other than a demon. Knuckles at the very least could give him that. In truth he couldn't even begin to guess what had been going through his mind in those final minutes, final hours. He didn't want to think about those last seconds as his Super-Form left him and the world grew large and hot in his eyes… It must have been a terrible way to die.

He wandered through the trees, not caring where he ended up. He felt no pressure to return to his duties on Angel Island. He couldn't even feel the Emerald, it's physical form had left him just after he'd used it to stop the Chaos Emeralds, since then he hadn't heard its scathing voice. He had no idea where it was, he hoped on Angel Island, where it belonged, but he couldn't be certain. Now when he reached for it all he felt was a kind of numbness, like a patch of skin after a severe burn, where he knew he should sense something but instead felt nothing. He didn't care. The Emerald seemed unimportant to him. He hated his job at the best of times; today what should have been the first thing on his mind was the last. He'd stopped caring. It was ironic, considering all he'd done and sacrificed for it over the last few days.

He walked into the night, watched the fragmented moon limp pitifully across the sky, half hidden by the Earth's shadow. Above the last flashes of falling pieces of the ARK burned into oblivion. Astronomers wouldn't forget him at least. Shadow had painted his legacy all across the sky; he'd made his mark in Heaven, for good or ill.

Knuckles slept only when his legs grew too weary to carry him further. He was on open plains now under a clear starlit sky. He curled into the grass and sleep embraced him like the cold snare of a heavy mist.

He stood on the edge of a cliff, looking up at the dark purple sky. He was about to turn away, when something burned flaming to Earth.

The Fire Daemon was back again. Knuckles hadn't seen him for so long, since before he'd been Bonded to the Master Emerald, yet now he'd visited his dreams twice in as many days. He lay on the ground, unmoving aside from what could be interpreted as a trembling shiver. The flames that made up his body burned deep purple and blue. For a while Knuckles gazed at him, wondering why he was here, what had happened to him, why he'd returned so suddenly, why he now lay apparently crippled on the floor. Finding strength and courage Knuckles didn't believe he had he went to his side, and knelt down beside him. He didn't fear the creature, at least not now; he knew his flames wouldn't burn him. When the Daemon had first emerged from the fireplace at the Guardian School and come forward to embrace him his screams had woken everyone else in the barrack. _Now_ he welcomed the Daemon's fiery presence. He put his hand on the Daemon's back; he turned the shape Knuckles assumed was his head to look at him. For a moment they just gazed at each other, as though each trying to fathom the reason for the other's pain. Then the Daemon lifted its flaming arms weakly towards him, like a child asking to be carried and comforted. Knuckles obliged, he took the Daemon in his arms, lifted him to a sitting position, and rocked him.

A cold morning welcomed him back to the real world. For a numb moment everything was ok. All was as well as it ever was, he expected to look up and see the Master Emerald. Then like the chill from an icy wind his memories awakened, and he recalled all that had happened the last day. Shadow was dead. That made him feel sick with a despair he still found hard to understand. When he reached for the Master Emerald he felt nothing, a bad sign, it worried him, at least a little, more today than yesterday. He sat up and looked at the thick grey clouds, wondering what to do, where to go, what he should do with his life. He was a Guardian of course, he had his responsibilities. Responsibility was something he'd known all his life, something Sonic would probably never really understand. He frowned to himself. He should have gone back to Angel Island with Tails. As Guardian the Emerald was supposed to be his first and only priority. In his heart of hearts he didn't want to go back. But Trainee Guardians were always taught that their own wishes were meaningless, especially when those wishes opposed the best interests of their Charges. It was easier for the Guardians of the Sentients, they could come to that most wonderful of things… a compromise. Knuckles' life was not filled with compromise, but hard rules, regulations and that which he was growing to despise, duty.

He walked because it eased his pain. The passing landscape gave him something other than Shadow's death to think about. He still thought it was an awful way to go. Falling… that was what it had been. Knuckles laughed to himself. The concept had so many interesting connotations. He shook his head and wandered on, the heavy sky seeming to push against him. The world had changed colour for him, now he saw only grey, where colour once was. It was bizarre… he couldn't explain it.

He could hear someone crying, but only in the distance. Knuckles stood in the middle of a dark forest, completely alone, but for the voice. A damp mist swirled around his cold body, clinging to his fur. He strained his ears, trying to hear the sound more clearly, so he could lock onto it and find his way to its owner. But the voice seemed to come from everywhere, and nowhere, all at the same time. The voice was crying, of that Knuckles was certain, but there was speech amongst the sobs.

"Help me…" The voice whimpered through the shadow of the trees. "It wasn't meant to be like this… It hurts so much…"

A sick chill made all Knuckles' fur stand on end.

"Please… help… me… Please… let me die…"

Knuckles' head banged against a thick tree trunk. He wanted to be sick; tears were running down his face. He brought his arms across his chest and hugged himself, shaking. He was freezing, as though his very spirit and been sealed in ice while he slept. His breathing came in rasping gasps, for a moment he doubted his decision to push Sonic away. But then, if he didn't understand his own feelings, he had no hope of making Sonic see.

He walked again. Though the sun wasn't shining he didn't feel it, he was cold, inside and out. Knuckles could feel himself sinking into despair, but now he didn't have the secure ring of Guardians and Trainees to fall back on. He didn't even have the Emerald, he was totally and utterly alone. He'd been a loner all his life, but now he longed for companionship of any kind. Someone, anyone to share his life with, ensure that when he was gone there was someone to remember him, he wanted his legacy to mean something to someone, so that he didn't simply disappear into the mist… as Shadow had.. Knuckles could cry as he walked because there was no-one around to see him.

They'd said grief faded with time. A week later Knuckles felt no better. He could see himself loosing condition. His fur had lost any shine it ever had. He was losing weight, which might not be an entirely bad thing, he thought angrily. He'd eaten little in the last days, enough to give him energy to keep moving, to keep running from his problems, but no more than that.

Weeks passed to a month. Slowly he began to feel better. The birds started to sing again, the sun shone. He grew used to his isolation again, he remembered how to depend only on himself and his own company again. He could eat without wanting to be sick, almost sleep without fearing his dreams. Slowly he truly began his long journey back to Angel Island.

He was finally nearing his goal. For the last week he'd been able to see Angel Island floating in the distant sky, but all the while it had been moving away from him. Every morning he'd find that any distance he'd made up between himself and the Island had been removed while he slept. It was growing extremely frustrating. However this morning Angel Island seemed almost within his reach, maybe a few more days travel, providing she didn't take objection to him again and continue moving away and he would be home.

Knuckles could hear the sound of what he thought was a familiar engine. It was too close for one of the humans' airliners crossing the sky miles above. He paused and looked up at the sky. Against a pale cloud between him and Angel Island he could see as small blue dot. He frowned to himself, what could Tails be doing all the way out here? Surely he wouldn't be looking for him…. Had something horrible happened? Had Sonic gone and died to, leaving Tails to bring the bad news? No! He was just being paranoid. As he watched the dot grew larger in the sky and began to descend. Suddenly Angel Island seemed much further away… Only part of him was disappointed.

Finally the four winged plane flew along beside him, he had to run to keep up with it. Tails in the cockpit made a signal for him to get in. Knuckles obliged and hopped aboard. As Tails pulled the plane up and away he handed something back to him, a letter. Knuckles looked at it briefly before handing it back.

"Just gimme the details Tails"

Evidently the letter was from Eggman, addressed to the three of them, something about his having created the "Ultimate Weapon", which in itself made Knuckles feel a little sick, and brought the stinging grief back for a moment. Evidently it ran in the family. Once the plane had climbed to level flight Tails shouted back to him.

"We have to find Sonic!"

Knuckles didn't say anything in response.

"I thought it would be easier to find you. I thought you would be on Angel Island, but when I got there, there was no sign of you, the Guardians said they hadn't seen you for months. I was in a hurry so I didn't stick around. I was about to give up on you! Surely it hasn't taken you this long to walk here?"

"I got distracted…" Knuckles answered "You know I hate my job!"

"But I thought you loved Angel Island? It's your home!"

"Like I said… I got distracted,…"

"Any idea on where Sonic could be?"

"Nope"

"Hopefully he'll be easier to find than you! But somehow I doubt it"

Knuckles was just enjoying the ride when Tails cried out that he'd found him. They descended sharply until the Tornado flew at Sonic's side. Tails offered him Eggman's letter. He read it and seemed intrigued by the challenge. A long conversation between him and Tails ensued, one which Knuckles saw no point in interrupting-especially as Sonic hadn't even greeted him.

"What're we gunna do Sonic?"

"No worries, we've got this one"

No worries, what did _he_ have to lose? After the last _little_ _incident_ what worse could go wrong? Knuckles shrugged to himself. Lay the past to rest and look to the future. There was another battle to be fought, more lives to save, and another opportunity to make Sonic a hero. Perhaps, something nice might even happen this time…


End file.
